This is the Fake News for the week of October 16, 2016!
This was a big week for news in the world of professional wrestling. We cover the return of Goldberg to the WWE, the return of Mickie James to NXT, the announcement of the first women's division Hell in a Cell, and the continued collapse of TNA.
Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet. My name is Doc Manson and you're listening to the fake wrestling news!
In our top story this week, it has been announced that Goldberg will be returning to the WWE and it has become clear that the returning superstar is on a collision course with the Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar. The feud is an extension of Goldberg's last feud in the WWE, which culminated in the legendary match between himself and Lesnar at WrestleMania 20. And by legendary, I mean garbage fire.
We here at the Weekly Wrestling News can't help but suspect that the return is really just elaborate cross promotional branding for the video game WWE 2K17, in which both Lesnar and Goldberg have been prominently featured. Still, it's hard to dismiss the return of this wrestling veteran as mere nostalgia. After all, over the course of the past 12 years, Goldberg has remained active in the world of professional wrestling. For instance, he, uh, well, he appeared once in 2015 to deliver his finishing maneuvers against Scott Steiner, and, uh, oh! Goldberg appeared a second time in early 2016 to, uh, again, spear Scott Steiner… Look, I'm sure that Goldberg is in excellent physical condition and will put on an absolute clinic in the ring against Brock Lesnar. WWE has never failed us before. And certainly not in this exact same manner with these exact same wrestlers. It'll be fine.
And now, the fake wrestling headlines that you care about!
Billy Corgan, front man for the alternative rock band the Smashing Pumpkins, sued Total Nonstop Action, the company for which he is also the current President. A temporary restraining order was approved, and Billy Corgan filed a bond to support it today. A hearing for a temporary injunction has been scheduled for Thursday, October 20th at 11:30am local time, and Corgan has requested a six-person jury to decide the case. We asked Harvard educated attorney David Otunga for his expert opinion on the matter. Otunga indicated that it is not mere coincidence that 6 jurors were requested, given that this is one juror for each side of the TNA ring. Otunga speculates that Corgan is planning to facilitate a favorable verdict by implementing a classic example of the famed lumberjack injunction.
WWE announced on Twitter that RAW star Sin Cara has officially signed on to be a part of the Cruiserweight division. We here at the fake wrestling news have absolutely no idea what this actually means, given that Sin Cara was already signed by RAW, the brand which hosts the cruiserweight division, and given that Sin Cara already fit into the weight restrictions required by said division. Congratulations? I guess?
R-Truth debuted a new gimmick on RAW this week, standing in as a living embodiment of product placement by offering a Pay Day candy bar to Chris Jericho in an otherwise extraneous and completely pointless backstage segment. This suggests a terrifying new reality is upon us, a reality in which the only way television revenue can be increased is by such blatant and shameless forms of advertising. Amongst the backstage production crew, stories were circulated indicating that if you're real quiet, somewhere in the distance you can hear the faint, ghostly sound of Vince McMahon laughing, literally all the way to the bank. *insert Vince McMahon laughter*
The following is a Public Service Announcement! Following his tag match with Randy Orton against the Wyatt family, Kane disappeared from the Smackdown Live ringside area, and has not been seen since. Kane's only surviving family, his brother the Undertaker, is reportedly very worried regarding Kane's whereabouts. We are asking that if anyone out there has information related to Kane's disappearance, please forward that information to firstname.lastname@example.org and all credible tips will be forwarded to the proper authorities.
In NXT news, Japanese superstar Hideo Itami was injured this past week, after being on the receiving end of a poorly executed power slam by developmental wrestler, Riddick Moss. Between this injury and his inclusion in the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team classic, we're not sure which development was worse for Itami's singles career.
At No Mercy, Dolph Ziggler did the impossible and actually won a match, defeating the Miz to become the Intercontinental champion. Later in the same show, Bray Wyatt also did the impossible and won his match against Randy Orton. This is a sign that Smackdown Live is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. What I mean is old testament, real wrath of god type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the sky. Rivers and seas boiling. 40 years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanos. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice. Dogs & Cats living together. Mass hysteria!
Smackdown Live women's champion Becky Lynch was unable to compete at No Mercy this past weekend in her title defense match against Alexa Bliss, citing an injury that was unrelated to in-ring competition. Online rumors have suggested that Becky Lynch may have been suffering from a flair up related to irritable bowel syndrome, a condition that she has acknowledged suffering from in the past. Although wrestling fans often joke about it, this elevates to a whole new level the concept of a match being nothing more than a bathroom break.
History was made on RAW this week! Women's Champion Sasha Banks challenged former champion Charlotte to a title match inside the satanic steel structure known as Hell in a Cell, setting the stage for what is likely to be the first women's main event at a WWE pay-per-view style event. Historically speaking, this is the first time since the Diva's revolution that the women have had a major feud shown the same amount of limited creative care that regularly occurs in the men's divisions. Truly, this is a great accomplishment and a huge step forward for the women's division as a whole.
This bring us to a brand new segment here on the Weekly Wrestling News, which we call, "The Shoot."
Let us consider the multitude of nonsensical developments which occurred on Monday Night RAW around the women's division. Sasha, the newly crowned women's champion, issued a rematch challenge to Charlotte. Charlotte, who undoubtedly has a rematch clause which she intended to cash in anyway. Sasha, with her history of back injuries, demanded that this rematch occur inside Hell in a Cell, the structure renowned within the WWE for causing injury and shortening people's careers. The reason that was given? To set historical precedent. Creative is literally asking us to ignore the history and the long, bitter rivalry these two have shared, perfect justification for a Hell in a Cell match, and instead asked us to believe that these superstars want to have this match both to make history and out of mutual respect for one another as competitors. Oh, and let's throw Roman Reigns and Rusev into this segment as well, just to underscore that this historical women's main event is somehow comparable to the current men's mid-card feud. Truly, we have witnessed history in the making.
And now, the fake wrestling headlines you care about.
WWE announced on Twitter this week that the NXT Women's Champion, Asuka, would face the returning Mickie James at NXT TakeOver: Toronto on November 19th. How bad is the NXT women's division that they have to go ten years into the past to find competition for Asuka? Someone needs to tell the New Day that creative stole their time machine. Our backstage sources report that Dana Brooke is extremely thrilled by Mickie's return. Dana, who is tired of being the butt of every joke in the WWE Women's division, is hopeful that Mickie will quickly regain her on-screen persona of Piggy James.
For those that don't remember Mickie, she debuted as the crazed lesbian stalker of Trish Stratus, which is widely regarded as one of the best women's feuds of all time. Really. Before the Women's Revolution, this was the kind of stuff that was hailed as pinnacle storytelling. Mickie was also the real life fiancé of Spirit Squad member Kenny, before allegedly having an affair with John Cena, resulting in the end of his marriage and producing the sociopathic monster that we now see every week on Total Bellas.
Speaking of Total Bellas, be sure to tune in this week, to watch Nikki Bella attempt to do laundry by herself for the first time in her life. Wackiness ensues when the clueless women's wrestler shrinks an entire load of laundry, including a pair of John Cena's signature jean shorts. In related news, on Smackdown Live this week, Nikki Bella debuted brand new ring gear, coming out for her match dressed in a pair of daisy duke-style jean shorts. No word yet on where Nikki obtained this fashionable new attire.
And with that, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet, we have reached the end of yet another episode of the Weekly Wrestling News! Until next time, this is your host, Doc Manson, signing off!
The Weekly Wrestling News is a satirical take on the week of news from the world of professional wrestling. Think of it as being like the Daily Show, but made by way less talented people (Doc Manson).
The News primarily covers WWE, NXT, TNA, Lucha Underground, and ROH, mostly in that order, and has been known to skewer the likes of Vince McMahon, Triple H, John Cena, and Nikki Bella. If you have 15 minutes a week to laugh at the things you love, check us out! You can hear all the rest of our podcasts here, or on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, or your podcast directory of choice!
Remember, we make fun because we love!
After a whirlwind of a Wrestlemania weekend, it's common for fans to turn their wrestle-weary eyes forward and gaze into the future, trying to establish what is likely next for their favorite superstars, which I can happily say now include both male and female talents.
Trouble is, after this particular weekend, that task is difficult. . .If not out and out impossible.
Wrestlemania gave us more questions than answers and tonight's RAW could be one of the most intriguing in ages simply because we have no idea what to expect. Will Shane be there? Could Sting be there? Is John Cena back? Did the League of Nations break up? What about Baron Corbin? WHEN DOES EVA MARIE GET HER WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH?
. . . Ok, so maybe I'm the only one asking that one. . . And even that's just to be annoying. . .
So yeah, WWE is hard to figure out... But so is NXT, and the issues with that brand are even harder to solve!
The Problems with NXT
There's no doubt that NXT has a TON of depth, and actually since I started writing this, NXT has signed eleventeen new talents, including YOUR favorite indie guy. Go check, it could have happened!
The problems I want to talk about today don't have to do with how to manage all of that talent, although that is certainly something NXT will need to figure out. A 60 minute show once a week isn't going to work, long term, with so many superstars that need a chance to shine.
But that's another column.
No, the problems I want to delve into today are the fact that despite this depth, there aren't a huge list of top contenders for NXT's 3 championships. Let's look at them one at a time, in order of the matches as they appeared at Takeover Dallas.
The Tag Titles
American Alpha has climbed the mountain and won their gold, and while I am delighted for Jordan and Gable, who do they face next? Besides a rematch with The Revival. . . What other teams are there? The Vaudevillains? Blake and Murphy? We are all assuming that Enzo and Cass are showing up on RAW tonight. . . Are there even any other tag teams in NXT?
I don't think anyone would mind seeing Dash and Dawson continue their feud with Jordan and Gable into the summer - That tag match was one of the best we've seen in ages - But what happens when that is over? How does NXT quickly establish qualified tag teams, when there aren't many in the first place?
Keep this in mind.
The Women's Title
Asuka has proven herself to be the most dominant female talent since Charlotte, and more than likely she's even better than Miss Flair was. Bayley did a halfway decent job (though as we said on DDT Wrestling this weekend, neither Doc Manson or I were huge fans of their match), but even she paled in comparison to the Empress of NXT.
So who does she fight next?
Sure, we haven't seen a conclusion to the Asuka / Nia Jax and Eva Marie storyline, so there's something. But, just like the tag team situation, who comes after that? Carmella? Alexa Bliss? Dana Brooke? Nobody seems like a qualified contender. In fact, nobody seems remotely qualified to even come close to being a contender!
How does NXT quickly build up their young roster of female talent (Peyton Royce, Billie Kay, Santana Garrett, etc.) to be able to even be in the same conversation as their new Womens' Champion?
Detecting a pattern yet?
The NXT Title
Both Doc Manson and I, along with a great number of you out there in the NAIborhood, were CONVINCED that Samoa Joe was going to win the NXT title on Friday night, and Finn Balor would be part of the WWE roster soon after, perhaps even as soon as Sunday's Wrestlemania. That didn't happen, and now once again, we have questions about who becomes the next contender.
In this instance, at least, there are a number of viable contenders to choose from. Austin Aries, Baron Corbin (complete with trophy), Apollo Crews and oh. . . That Nakamura guy. . . All could be potential challengers for Balor's title. Samoa Joe is likely also not done with Mr. Balor, although as Doc and I mentioned, the way Joe handled losing was particularly curious. Not sure what his future is.
Either way, we can be reasonably confident that the NXT male singles scene is relatively set heading out of Takeover - We just don't know what it's going to look like or who's going to step up to challenge the champion.
Yeah we do. . . He's the guy with the knees.
Confusion and questions reign in the two World Wrestling Entertainment properties. Nobody is really sure what happens next. . . Some people can use that to be negative - To fault WWE / NXT for being so muddled and "unprepared". Or, if you follow the Ten Commandments of the NAIborhood, you can be excited about the endless possibilities.
In a little over 24 hours, the stars of WWE NXT will converge upon the Kay Bailey Hutchison Convention Center in little ol’ Dallas, Texas. In the two short years the WWE developmental system has been airing “special events” (for goodness sake, they’re pay-per-views) on the WWE Network, this weekend’s Dallas production might just be the biggest show NXT has put on since their Brooklyn card. I promised DC I’d pump out a couple articles about WrestleMania weekend before the festivities really got started, so here goes on breaking down the NXT TakeOver Dallas card!
Apollo Crews vs. Elias Samson
Call me easy to please, but I’m actually kind of excited about this match. I have no clue what the Elias Samson character is about, and I couldn’t even begin to guess. However, for some reason he appeals to me. Physically, he’s a cross between Seth Rollins and Damien Sandow. He’s had some entertaining matches over the past few weeks, and I think with a talent on the level of Apollo Crews, this match Friday night can be something special. The best thing about NXT has been its ability to book a match on no more reason than the fact that two people don’t like each other and want to solve their problems with violence. I won’t lie to myself and say this will be a show-stealer, but I’m excited for it anyway.
Predicted Winner: Elias Samson
Reasoning: Elias Samson has already gotten his first loss out of the way. If NXT wants to build him as, at the very least, a solid part of their midcard, he needs a win over a star the caliber of Crews.
Austin Aries vs. Baron Corbin
Baron Corbin has unfortunately been relegated – for lack of a better term – to welcoming in NXT’s big Indy name signings the past couple of Takeover events. He put on an *exceptional* match against Samoa Joe in Brooklyn, arguably his best special event showing to date. He had a great match against Apollo Crews in London, and I was actually shocked when he picked up the win. As much as I love both Joe and Crews, Austin Aries is arguably in a league of his own. Not many people can call themselves “The Greatest Man to Ever Live” and actually have the talent to back it up. Aries is one of the best professional wrestlers on the planet, and I am *STOKED* to see him on a niche platform like NXT, and with a talent like Baron Corbin. Corbin has shown he can hang with both big and smaller guys, and tell an absolutely amazing story. This one is gonna shock a lot of people.
Predicted Winner: Austin Aries
Reasoning: Simple, he’s The Greatest Man to Ever Live. However, this might be just the start of what could be one of the most compelling angles NXT has done in months.
Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
This is the match that sold me on writing this little prediction article to begin with! I have only been a Nakamura fan since January 2015, when I watched him and Kota Ibushi put on one of the best matches of ALL of 2015. I have only been a fan of Sami Zayn since February 2014, when I watched him and Cesaro put on one of the most exciting matches of ALL of 2014. Putting these two talents in the same ring is a recipe for success. Zayn’s legacy in building NXT, in helping to make it some of the most intense, compelling wrestling of the past two years, is the perfect counterpart to Shinsuke’s legacy from all around the world, especially in New Japan Pro Wrestling. When he’s on his game, there is no one better on the planet – both as a ring technician and an entertainer – than Mr. Nakamura. Given that this might be the biggest stage he’s ever performed, Shinsuke will bring every part of his soul into this match, and I have no doubts Zayn will be there every step of the way. This match has the potential to not only be the best match on the Takeover card, but the best match professional wrestling fans watch all weekend.
Predicted Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura
Reasoning: I truly believe Sami Zayn was chosen for Shinsuke’s debut opponent because he could handle the King of Strong Style’s….style. ? This is going to be brutally hard-hitting, we’re going to get taken on an emotional roller coaster for however long the match is, and the story might just drain us before we even get to the main event. However, Nakamura will come out the victor in this insane battle.
The Revival (Scott Dawson & Dash Wilder) (c) vs. American Alpha (Jason Jordan & Chad Gable) – NXT Tag Team Championship Match
When Dash & Wilder first showed up as a tag team, I was NOT impressed. However, over the course of a few months, and especially once they won the NXT Tag Team titles from the Vaudevillains, I’ve become a believer. They aren’t flashy like Big Cass and Enzo, they aren’t characters like Gotch and English, and they certainly don’t have quite the appeal of Jordan and Gable. However, their hard-hitting technique, their focus on getting in, handling their business, and getting out has its own appeal. Jordan and Gable have taken over the NXT Tag Team division. They have meshed as well as just about any tag team I’ve seen in the past three years. They’re fun, they’re charismatic, they’re unbelievably talented, and they epitomize what tag team wrestling is supposed to be. The same can be said for Dash and Dawson (I still have issues with their tag team name, but that’s neither here nor there). I’m going to borrow DC Matthews’ prediction here and say that this match will set the foundation for what tag team wrestling (both NXT *and* the main roster) will look like for the next decade.
Predicted Winner: Jordan and Gable
Reasoning: It actually has nothing to do with Jordan and Gable, but all to do with Big Cass and Enzo. If ever there was a time for those boys to start dominating the tag team division as its biggest faces, it was back in August in Brooklyn. However, once Jordan and Gable crashed the party, it was clear NXT Creative was going in a different direction. Jordan and Gable are just now hitting their peak as faces, and beating Dash and Dawson could set both teams up for a feud that could indeed last across NXT and WWE for the next ten years.
Bayley (c) vs. Asuka – NXT Women’s Championship Match
Since Sasha Banks, has Bayley faced a more daunting mountain to climb than when she steps into the ring with Japanese sensation Asuka? When Regal announced this match-up, I was pretty surprised. Asuka has been in a pretty steady feud with Dana Brooke and Emma for the past few months, and only just recently started interacting with the current NXT Women’s Champion. I actually thought we’d see Asuka vs. Nia Jax before we saw Asuka competing for the Women’s Championship. However, now that this match *is* happening, I think I’m more excited for this than I was for Bayley’s Iron Man Match against Sasha. Both women bring a level of experience to this match-up that can only make for some of the best in-ring storytelling we’ll see in our lifetime.
Predicted Winner: Bayley
Reasoning: I don’t want to see Bayley on the main roster until there is a spot for her. If she drops the title to Asuka, that tells me she’s headed straight for Monday Night RAW, and I don’t think the other three Horsewomen are quite done telling their story over the Divas Title enough to bring Bayley into the picture. On the same side of that coin, as much as Asuka has been beating the crap out of Dana Brooke and Emma, I don’t think she’s completely ready to be the face of the NXT Women’s Division. Come back in 4-5 months when we’re heading into SummerSlam weekend, and my opinion might change.
Finn Bálor (c) vs. Samoa Joe – NXT Championship Match
Samoa Joe and Finn Bálor have been around this business for a LONG, LONG time, and while Bálor might have made his NXT debut first, it didn’t take Joe long to make his way to the main event scene right behind him. Doing quick research for this article, Bálor has been NXT Champion for over 9 months, and Joe has been his most intense opponent in those 9 months. Joe brings an athleticism and level of conditioning to this particular matchup that might actually give Bálor problems tomorrow night. Joe has never been more focused, more determined, in the past few months he’s been locked in this feud, and I think tomorrow night, we’ll see the absolute best Samoa Joe we’ve *ever* seen. It won’t be easy in the least. Then again, anything worth having is worth battling your heart out over, isn’t it?
Predicted Winner: Samoa Joe
Reasoning: I want to see Joe vs. Aries on a WWE platform. I want to see Baron Corbin thrown in the mix. I think NXT needs a dominant champion the level of Samoa Joe, and they need a heel champion the level of Samoa Joe. He can work with just about any talent on the NXT roster, and tell stories with his eyes closed. If he doesn’t win, I think this is the last we see of Joe in NXT. Third time’s gotta be a charm, right?
So, those are my analyses, predictions, and reasoning! Let me hear your thoughts, friends! What are you most looking forward to on the NXT TakeOver Dallas card? Who steals the show? Who shocks us the most?
My goodness, it's been a while since I've done one of these rankings. Matter of fact, it's been a while since I've written anything at all. Every time I came up with an idea, I figured I'd save it for the podcast. However, in celebration of the launch of DDTpod.com, let's get back on the horse, shall we?
If you've perused the archives, you know how this works, although I'm tweaking it a bit. Rather than judging based on potential or overall performance, this is now a completely biased and subjective list. This is MY top ten. I encourage you to stop by the forums or, perhaps, write an article yourself in which you give us your own personal rankings.
Finn Balor is not included in this list and neither is Bayley. If you're a podcast listener, you know why this is. I enjoy Bayley's work, though the underdog gimmick is wearing a bit thin with me. As for Balor. . . Oh, Finn, you are floundering right now. He needs the Balor Club far more than NXT or WWE does.
Number Ten - The Vaudevillains
Aiden English and Simon Gotch have been part of my top ten rankings since the beginning of my writing career, and that is NOT a good thing. That means it's been almost two full years with them in NXT, and they still don't seem to be any closer to the main roster than they were previously. While the WWE tag division could use some young blood, there are other teams who are going to get there before them.
Number Nine - Baron Corbin
Baron and I have a rocky history. I liked him a lot when he first made his debut but immediately realized what NXT was doing - accentuating his strengths and hiding his many weaknesses. My enjoyment quickly turned to utter disdain for Mr. "Tall and Terrible", and it would have remained that way forever had he not told Apollo Crews (not on this list until they give him something to do besides "Smiling African American") to go back to Ring of Honor.
Since then, Corbin has found his place in the wrestling world, as the "Anti-Indie" guy, and it really works for him.
Number Eight - Santana Garrett
Remember when we all worried about the future of the NXT women's division once Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch all got called up to the main roster? How we worried that it would just be "Bayley and Friends?" Or maybe that was just me.
Either way, NXT has a very talented crop of young female wrestlers all just waiting for their chance to shine. I could have picked Billie Kay or Peyton Royce to take this spot, but Miss Garrett has been on TV more frequently and has impressed me each time with her in-ring chops. I don't think she'll wind up being the female member of the Wyatt Family (as her Twitter feed creepily alluded to some months ago), but I do think she's going to have a successful career in WWE.
Number Seven - Enzo and Cass
I debated leaving these two off of the rankings, since the writing is so evidently on the wall that they'll be joining WWE following Wrestlemania. The only reason they stayed is because of the significant improvements they have made, both in the ring and on the mic. I know you're saying, "DC, Enzo is a microphone maestro!", and you're not wrong. But they didn't kick it into high gear until they got very serious with The Revival, and that's when I began taking them seriously as main roster candidates.
Here's the thing, though - Carmella needs to stay in NXT.
Unless they are going to make her solely a manager / valet, I don't think she's ready to be part of the Diva's Division. Keep her at Full Sail for a few months, let her only be a wrestler, THEN bring her up sometime in late summer. Sending Carmella to WWE before that only hurts her in the long run.
Number Six - Samoa Joe
The number one contender and, seemingly, obvious next NXT champion certainly impressed with his marathon performance in that two out of three falls match against Sami Zayn (not ranked because he's already a main roster guy). NXT would benefit from Samoa Joe being the dominant champion for much of 2016, building up new stars just by deciding to step into the ring with them. NXT is going to need some time to get the next level of main event singles stars ready for prime time. Joe helps with that.
Number Five - Tye Dillinger
The Perfect 10 is Number 5 for me, even though I know what's coming. There's going to be a problem in NXT in the near future - With all of the new talents coming in at an almost alarming rate (How long until Bobby Roode and Eric Young sign with WWE - two weeks? Maybe three?), guys like Dillinger, who have been in the developmental system for YEARS now, are going to get pushed back down the totem pole.
It's a shame. This guy finally finds a gimmick that works and is likely not going to get to capitalize on it because Shinsuke Nakamura, Austin Aries (both not listed until they have their first match) and others will be in the way. I get why it's inevitable, but I'm sad for the Perfect 10.
Number Four - Eva Marie and Nia Jax
Hate on it all you want, folks, but these two are doing an excellent job filling the void left in the women's division. Dana Brooke and Emma weren't going to cut it as main event level heels, but between Nia's intimidating look and Eva's star power (I don't want to hear it- She is a STAR), they've made things very interesting for Bayley and friends.
Plus, they have planted the seeds for a split at some point, with Nia Jax becoming a face to replace Bayley or another female not yet mentioned who will probably be WWE bound by the end of the year.
Deal with it - Eva and Nia are great.
Number Three - The Revival
Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson (he's the bald one) might not be the flashiest tag team as they walk to the ring or when they pick up a mic, but between those ropes, they are everything you should like about tag team wrestling. Go back and watch some of their matches. Notice how they actually do all of the things you're supposed to do as a tag team - Cutting the ring in half to isolate an opponent, working over a single body part, latching on to it when making a tag, to keep the fresh partner from getting involved. Their new name is appropriate. They could be part of a REVIVAL of tag team wrestling in WWE, and I can't wait.
I want one of their jackets personalized just for me. Make it happen, NAIborhood!
Number Two - Asuka
Do I really need to say anything here? She might not win the NXT Women's title at Takeover (Still not sure Bayley gets the call-up yet), but it's only a matter of time before she wins it. We could see 2016 being the year that the NXT Champions (Joe and Asuka, along with whomever the tag champs might be) absolutely dominate the competition, waiting for challengers worth fighting. I'd be very OK with this notion.
Number One - American Alpha
Could there have been another choice? I don't think so. I might take umbrage with the recent formulaic pattern of their tag matches but without question, Chad Gable and Jason Jordan are my favorite wrestlers in NXT, and among my favorites in the world right now. Jordan's suplexes might just be better than Brock Lesnar's and truthfully, I don't think there's anything that Chad Gable can't do.
Oddly, though, I don't need them winning the tag titles at Takeover. I want this Alpha / Revival feud to last a good long time, well into the summer. These guys are going to set the world on fire if they get the chance, and I can't wait to see it.
So there you have it, folks, the first NXT Top Ten of the DDTpod Era. Comment below and let me know how wrong I am.
Today’s TakeOver came to us from Jolly Old England, as some people apparently say, so rather than an 8 PM date with WWE Network, I was able to come home after work, run a couple errands, make some nachos and then settle in with the talent of NXT.
Well, not Jordan and Gable. . . Or Tye Dillinger, despite the three of them perhaps being the most popular guys on the roster. . . Or Sami Zayn, set to make his highly anticipated return to NXT. . .Sigh. . .
Anyway, since I was starting the show right as it ended in real time, I decided to stay off of social media, and since many of you fine NAIborhood residents asked for a column instead of live tweeting, I pulled out my trusty looseleaf notebook and got to writing. The following is a running diary of my thoughts during the show.
I’m glad Triple H played a little kayfabe with his introduction, admitting to Sunday’s beatdown by the NEW World Heavyweight Champion, Roman Reigns. Though, I have to say, “Scream with me” was a little silly.
I completely forgot about the tag title package going into this show, though in my defense, I didn’t care one iota about Enzo and Cass until about a week ago.
What in the world is #ApolloNation? Is that a thing? Do people say that? Come on, NXT, I gave you absolute gold for Apollo!
I’m officially done with Demon Balor. . . In fact, I’ve been done since about the second time he came out. Really hoping for something different this time around.
Every time I see this Jack the Ripper silhouette, I can’t help thinking about how great Simon Gotch would look with that gimmick.
A few weeks ago on #DDTWrestling, Doc Manson and I discussed the definition of “Mark Out Moments”. I decided to keep track of what I consider “MOMs”, and the first one happened when NXT decided to open their show withAsuka.
I like the mask on the video screen more than I like the actual one, though I did think it was cool that she wore it all the way to the ring. Though how does she see?
Emma comes out with those stupid, stupid gloves and some new shades. Apparently she is trying to channel Big Bossman circa 1990.
As for Dana Brooke, Natalya is going to want her outfit back after the show.
The opening of this match was a little rough. Emma should not try to match speed and technique with Asuka, since it’s never going to work.
Mini MOM (hereby known as MMOMs) - Asuka’s spinning Fujiwara armbar. Just so good!
I’m not a fan of the hip attack most commonly known as ‘Rear View’. . . Like at all. . . But at least the one from the apron to the floor looks like it would hurt.
There’s a guy with an Asuka mask in the crowd. Did she toss it to him or are they for sale? Did I just find Doc Manson’s Christmas present?
More of Emma trying to be Dean Malenko. I’m reminded of those adorable nature videos where a lion cub is wrestling his daddy, trying to be all big and bad. Papa lion is sitting there humoring his son, when you know full well Papa could easily just reach out and swat his baby across the savannah. Emma’s the baby. . . Asuka is Mufasa.
I dig this London crowd, especially when they found a way to turn Zayn’s “Ole” chants into Asuka ones. Well done.
This just in from the #NAI150 - I miss the full nelson.
Ok, help me out, NAIbors. . . Why does Asuka scream so much? I get that she’s trying to overcome a language barrier, so primal noises are better than half-learned phrases, but I don’t need the constant bellowing. It’s the one thing about her I don’t like. Am I wrong?
MMOM - Emma slapping Asuka. I chortled with glee thinking about what was going to happen next.
The crowd likes to continue the referee’s count for him. . . Odd, but kind of cool.
This just in from the #NAI150 - Emma has been getting a lot of love from NXT fans, listing her as one of the best female talents on the roster. This match officially sold me on her as a talent. I still don’t think she should be trying to match Asuka in catch-as-catch-can style grappling, but I really liked the Tarantula and the butterfly suplex into the turnbuckle. The girl can wrestle.
MOM - I had a mini-moment for the ankle lock, but that turned into a kicking my feet with glee reaction when she turned it into a German suplex.
I know I spent a lot of 2014/2015 singing the praises of Charlotte as perhaps the greatest female talent in history, and the latter half of this calendar year has gone out of its way to prove to me how wrong I was. . . But Asuka is on a level that I’m not sure I’ve ever seen before.
Dana Brooke did very little for me in this match, which goes along with her track record so far in NXT. Her cheering on of Emma was annoying and she was as blatantly obvious a cheater as I’ve ever seen. Please, get her off my television.
MOM - That counter into the Asuka Lock. Just. Too. Good.
This was an excellent match to start the show. The storytelling was spot on; there were a couple of moments where I really thought Asuka was going to lose, totally ruining my #PreDCtion from last week’s DDT show where I claimed she’ll go undefeated throughout her entire NXT run. I really liked this contest.
It’s a shame William Regal couldn’t be a part of this show. Health comes first, it’s true, but he could have had an all-time moment. I hope Regal doesn’t even fall victim to the “What If’s” of his career and spends his time realizing what a HALL OF FAME talent he truly is.
This video really gives me the impression that Enzo and Cass are WWE bound. This looked more like a career retrospective than anything else. If they don’t win the titles, I really think we’ll see them on the main roster before too long. With my worries that New Day are starting to lose their luster, any potential feud with Enzo and Cass needs to happen ASAP.
I am missing the stage for these entrances. They don’t seem as ‘big time’ as they should.
It’s good that Shawn Michaels dug into his closet and let Enzo borrow one of his 90’s Heartbreak Kid jackets.
I neither enjoy nor do I really get this weird Carmella dance.
There’s nothing like a good cheap pop for me, so Enzo pulling a pound out of his pocket. . . Even if he struggled to do so. . . Made me chuckle.
I’m glad Big Cass doesn’t stutter anymore doing the SAWFT thing.
I absolutely love the jackets that Dash and Dawson are wearing. They are such a breath of fresh air for me.
Um. . . Why is Enzo Amore wearing overalls? Is he auditioning to be a member of The Godwinns? Ahhh, OK, he just wanted another cheap pop showing off the Union Jack. Got it.
Based on what I’ve seen from Enzo and Cass lately, the WWE Performance Center must have had a recent class on crazy eyes.
This just in from the #NAI150 Corey Graves is getting a lot of love on multiple parts of the survey for his announcing work, and his line about Enzo not knowing where England was until they got there was very Heenan-ish. Good for him.
Huh. . .This entire time I thought Dash was Dawson and Dawson was Dash. Go figure.
I like that Enzo and Cass spent some time working over the arm of. . . Damn, now I forgot which one was which again. . . The one with the hair.
The crowd is now chanting random things, or at least things I can’t understand. I’m being taken out of the match. I hate that.
Air Enzo - The outside the ring one - Requires a whole lot of trust on the part of Amore. There’s been some good wrestling from these two, which is rare for me to say.
A Tye Dillinger “Ten” chant just broke out. I like the crowd again.
Ok, we need to stop the running diary portion of this column so I can gush about how much I love Dash and Dawson. Heavens, they are something else. Hammerlock Northern Lights Suplexes, Reverse Figure Four Leglocks, an assisted Gourdbuster - Moves I’ve ever never seen or haven’t seen in ages. PLUS, one of my favorite moves of all time. . .The slingshot suplex.
Talk about your moves from the past that need to be brought back. . .This just in from the #NAI150. . . I leapt out of my chair for that. A true Mark Out Moment
We now return you to your regularly scheduled running diary…
These first two matches have been excellent. Great storytelling, great ring work and true false finishes (oxymoron much?). I seriously thought Enzo and Cass had the titles won, until. . .
MOM - A top rope. . . Whatever you call Dash and Dawson’s finisher? Holy Toledo, that was cool.
Dash and Dawson retain. These were the only belts I figured could possibly change hands, so this means everyone keeps their belts, I’m guessing.
#PreDCtion - Enzo and Cass make their WWE debut at some point before the Royal Rumble. If the rumors are true that Smackdown is going to become a RAW / NXT hybrid, this would be an ideal place to do it.
We see a social media barrage of the week in the UK. Only thing that matters to me is the picture of Bayley and Asuka together. This is a sign of things to come, I think - We’re going to see these two take on Nia Jax and Eva Marie in the very near future.
Once again, the lack of stage hurts the entrances. . .But it’s Corbin’s, so I don’t care as much.
Speaking of Baron Corbin, is this a new look for him? His outfit seemed more hobo patchwork than usual. He also looks a little leaner as well, though #TheCrease is still there. This might all be because I never watch him on the weekly NXT shows, so maybe he’s looked like this for months.
Fun Fact - Apollo Crews is listed from the same place as Jake “The Snake” Roberts.
My problem with Crews is that he’s so. . . Vanilla. A supremely talented athlete, but he just comes across as bland. I can’t bring myself to care.
Hmm, should #BaldingCorbin be a thing?
Full Disclosure: I stopped paying a lot of attention during this match. It’s Corbin. . . I just can’t. It had its moments, sure (Crews going over the ropes and hitting the stairs was pretty brutal), but otherwise, my mind wandered. . . To what, you ask?
I wonder how many people have done #NAI150 since I checked last? I wonder if Dash and Dawson or Emma will get some more votes based on today’s performance.
I really don’t want to watch Nia Jax beat up Bayley for 10 minutes.
Aren’t there 6 matches on this show? I should list them to see which one I can’t think of. . . (This happened for 3-4 minutes.)
Man, Dash and Dawson were good.
Why is this crowd not making any sense? A “Whoomp there it is” chant? Really?
Apollo hits the standing moonsault and as he tries to pin Corbin, I blurted out, “Please be over.” Not good.
OK, let’s talk about the best part of this match. . . In fact, it’s the best thing Baron Corbin has ever done in his life. After Crews hits the stairs, Corbin climbs the ropes to taunt him, shouting down. . .
”You should have stayed in Ring of Honor!”
I. Laughed. SO. Hard. What a random and ridiculous thing to say! Especially since, after some quick research, I’m fairly certain the once named Uhaa Nation never wrestled for ROH. Ever. I’m not sure if Triple H will care about Corbin name-dropping like that, but that was a highlight of the night for me.
As I was doing this quick research, Corbin hit End of Days and pinned Apollo. I’ll be honest, I was SHOCKED. If Enzo and Cass aren’t getting the next call-up, it’s probably going to be Corbin. Hey, at least he’ll provide another snack / bathroom break during RAW!
I’ve missed Mr. Ska, and NXT dropped the ball, I think, not having him be a bigger part of TakeOver. Saving his return for the following TV show makes little sense to me.
I haven’t seen the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie yet but I’m fairly sure Nia has Shredder’s shoulderpads. Did she borrow them from Super Shredder himself, Kevin Nash?
AHHHH!! MOM!!! Nia Jax and Asuka face-off. This tag match is TOTALLY going to happen!
Alright, I’m going into #HeelDC mode for a bit here. . . Bear with me. . .
I’m really tired of hearing all about Bayley’s lifelong love of pro wrestling. I get it. . . You wrote an essay when you were a kid about wanting to be a wrestler. It’s great, but it’s also tired. You’ve read it to us too many times, and now it’s time to move on. At least until you get up to WWE and we do this whole underdog story all over again. . .
Thanks for that.
The one thing I did realize during this segment was that Bayley definitely has her own Rogue’s Gallery. For those who don’t have as much nerd cred as I do, in the DC Comics Universe, the major heroes each have a long list of villains trying to take them out, aka a Rogue’s Gallery. That’s what’s happening with Bayley right now, and since I had the time and the inclination (I couldn’t get into this match either), I decided to flush this idea out a bit.
Nia Jax is Bane - Supremely powerful, supremely confident, and usually the muscle alongside another villain.
Alexa Bliss is Poison Ivy - Sorry, Peyton Royce, but it’s not your time yet. Bliss is seductive enough to have two guys under her thrall and dangerous enough to rock. . .Whatever that stupid thing on her hand is. . .
Eva Marie is The Penguin - Seems silly, I’m sure, but hear me out. Of all the Batman villains, Oswald Cobblepot is the one that usually has the most corporate and government support. That’s Eva Marie - the Corporate picked “champion”. Plus, Penguin usually has lackeys - Eva has Nia Jax. It works, just go with it.
Sasha Banks is The Joker - Batman’s biggest and most natural enemy. Who better than The Boss for Bayley?
Bayley’s music makes me happy, though the lack of the stage hurt her entrance. This is a problem.
The crowd is singing love songs to Bayley. Very cute.
Oh man, I’m so bored right now. I got up and walked around the room, I went out to visit with Mrs. Matthews, and each time I came back, Nia was beating up Bayley. I get it already!
I wonder if someone could pull off a Rolling Samoan Drop, where they never let go of the person until they’ve done all three. That’d be a cool move for Roman Reigns.
Hey, Nia did the spinning move they show people practicing during Breaking Ground.
So a lot of people compare Bayley to John Cena because of the Make A Wish possibilities but here’s another similarity we should all get used to - Bayley is going to kick out at 2. . . Every time.
Nia did a nice job taunting the fans.
That submission hold Bayley used only really looked effective once Nia was in a sitting position. Otherwise it just looked like Nia was carrying Bayley around.
Has anyone ever begged, “Please, for the love of God, tap out!” Would have been appropriate here.
Solid ending to a very predictable match. The first 30-40 minutes of TakeOver was amazing - The second hunk. . . Not so much.
I wonder if Samoa Joe stresses out about making sure the spaces between his sideburns and his goatee are JUST RIGHT.
I like that Joe doesn’t wear special outfits for TakeOvers. He is who he is. Deal with it.
MOM - FINALLY, a variation to Demon Balor. That’s all I wanted, just something new. The hat and the coat was really cool, and the back paint of the Tower of London was a nice touch.
I like the big fight lights during title match introductions.
Throughout this entire show, the commentary team faded to the background for me. I barely noticed they were there. Maybe that’s the idea. One of them talking about Balor bringing along his “dark passenger” was the first time I had paid them any attention in close to an hour.
I am fading fast - Those 2 middle matches were hard to get through. How do NXT fans handle 4 tapings in a row? Seems exhausting.
Hey, I don’t know if you know this, but that Samoa Joe guy is pretty good.
I’m just going to leave this idea here. . . Samoa Joe vs. Bray Wyatt.
This just in from the #NAI150 - I get why Finn Balor’s corner enziguiri has some votes for ‘highest impact move’. That looked like it hurt.
The problem with guys being so ridiculously good, like Balor and Joe, is that all of their matches are graded on a sliding scale. This match is good but compared to other ones I’ve seen. . .
The benefit of guys being so ridiculously good is that when Finn misses a Pele, both he and Joe can recover easily.
I still haven’t figured out the crowd yet, but I’ll give them this - They cheer when people fall into perfect positions for finishing moves.
The tease of a “Super Musclebuster” is my last MMOM of the night as soon after, Balor retained his title.
Two excellent matches to start the show, two very difficult matches in the middle and one just fine match to end our night. Not the best TakeOver I have ever seen, but not a bad way to spend an evening, especially when I had you fine NAIbors to write for.
Hope you enjoyed the running diary. Be sure to share your thoughts and comments - I need the interaction.
Oh, and go vote in the #NAI150. . . #Shameless
The life of a wrestling fan is not easy.
Between all of the different promotions, all of the different shows and literally thousands of ideas every day on social media, it's very hard to lose yourself in a match; to be taken back to those blissful moments when you were a kid on the floor in front of the television watching professional wrestling.
I just had one of those moments, and it was amazing.
From start to finish, top to bottom, everything about that was pure and utter gold. I sat here, just a few minutes ago, chuckling to myself with glee. For that small bit of time, I was back in my grandmother’s living room, tossing pillows around with improvised suplexes and slams, completely lost in the wonder of the writing and performances. After a number of days dealing with massive amounts of negativity and criticism in regards to the WWE product as a whole, I needed to suspend disbelief and become a fan again. I couldn’t be happier right now.
So what made it so good? I’m not sure I can organize my thoughts enough to try to come up with some sort of ranking order, so off the top of my head, here’s my list.
Everyone knows that Eva Marie is who WWE wants as the poster girl for the next 5-10 years, and in much the same way as with Roman Reigns, people resent having her forced upon them, especially when she is so obviously a work in progress. (Also like Reigns was / is)
Unlike Roman, however, the creative team decided to run with that and use it to make their story better. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times by now, the best angles are when art imitates life. By having Corporate announce that this match was taking place, by having a WWE official come down to “help keep things under control”, Eva Marie became the “chosen one”, which is exactly as it should be. Had Roman Reigns shaken the hand of Triple H a few weeks ago, this is what we would have seen with him in the WHC tournament.
Besides possibly Earl Hebner, no referee might be more famous for being a “heel” than Charles Robinson. Sure, Bill Alfonso and Danny Davis did it first (I’m sure, of course, among others), but “Lil Naitch” is the only one still on the roster. As soon as he came down, any fan who followed WCW in some form or fashion knew exactly what was up, and because of that, it was magical.
Robinson, to his credit, played his role perfectly, looking pained as Bayley continued to kick out of Eva’s pin attempts, all while assuring his innocence and impartiality to the champion.
The vitriol that spilled from fans regarding Eva Marie has been incredible. Everything she did seemed to just irritate people more and more, and when she was going to get a title shot, I seriously thought some were going to lose their minds.
Oddly enough, I thought, in the last 24 hours, I hadn’t noticed as much of that hate erupting on my social media. Now, since it’s Thanksgiving (and a happy holiday to you and yours), there’s probably more than one reason for that - Everyone is too busy fighting tryptophan comas to be snarky. But I also think that Eva’s performance, at least for one night, silenced some of her critics.
Let’s look at this in stages.
Is Eva the best talker ever? No, of course not. Last night, though, I submit that she was better than Finn Balor. While the NXT champ stumbled a bit through his brief contract signing promo, Eva did a solid job conveying her message to Tom Phillips.
She’s in Regal’s dressing room, which hints at some potential corporate connections right off the bat (plus, perhaps, some hanky panky on the side, which would be great just for the Regal facial expressions). She blatantly cops to why she’s there - Total Divas - while also acting confident that she’s going to win the title. Then, she brings out Nia Jax as her friend / enforcer.
I posted this on Twitter, but I’ll say it again - This could be the best “bodyguard” pairing since Shawn Michaels and Diesel. Now, the ending of the show hinted that Nia Jax might be the next person to challenge for Bayley’s title, so perhaps the partnership will be somewhat short lived, but this is exactly what Eva Marie needed. Someone to do the heavy lifting, to take some of the pressure off of her so she didn’t need to be a fantastic, or even very good, women’s wrestler.
But something odd happened on the way to the end of the show. . .
Eva Marie had a really solid wrestling match.
Over the last few weeks / months, I’ve admitted that Eva’s ring work needs work, but I’ve also argued that she gets better in the ring with each match. This time, Eva looked to have made significant in-ring improvements. Her moves were crisp, she played to the crowd very well. . . “My gawd, King, she even ran the ropes like a pro!” For that one match, Eva Marie looked like a solid member of the women’s roster, and someone who could have won the women’s title, even by suspect means.
Now, Bayley needs some praise for her work as well. Not only did she, most likely, carry Eva to a good match, but the champ did an excellent job on her own. While this gimmick could get old after a while, for now, Bayley is the ultimate underdog. Having the deck stacked against her like this is what makes her so captivating - seeing her struggle to overcome the odds, but eventually be victorious. Facial expressions, appealing to the audience, finally hitting the Super Bayley to Belly - all done very well by our NXT women’s champion. When it comes time for Bayley to hit the main roster, she’ll be a much more polished product thanks to this extra time at Full Sail.
When you put all of these things together, all of these things lead to the main reason this was so good.
The biggest problem with NXT, besides perhaps only giving the talents 60 minutes a week to work, is that they pre-tape all of their shows. Spoilers are a guarantee, and that takes a lot of the surprise and mystery out of the product. You can’t lose yourself in a match as well when you know who is going to win.
I had avoided spoilers for this show as well as I could, but you knew Eva Marie wasn’t going to walk away with the Women’s Title. It would have made news everywhere and it would have been all people wanted to talk about.
Regardless, for those ending few minutes, I actually thought Eva was going to steal the belt. THAT’S how good this story was. Knowing the result ahead of time, but being so swept up in the action that you forget what’s going to happen.
That’s what makes this one of, if not THE, best storytelling segment of 2015. That’s why, if you haven’t already, you need to #GiveEvaAChance
What do YOU think? Were you impressed by the storytelling and performances? Did Wednesday’s NXT change your opinion of Eva Marie? Be Heard.