Hell in a Cell has come and gone, my friends, and while I did not get to see the live Twitter-verse reactions, I can tell that the overall impressions are positive.  As they should be, it was a quality show, which as many who don’t #PromotePositivity as much as I do would say, is a rare thing.

I had a fractured viewing of it (watched the first hour last night and the remainder between 3:45 and 5:15 this morning), so I’m probably not the best person to judge the overall product.  However, while I did enjoy the vast majority of what I saw, I can’t help but feel like I am wanting more.  In some cases, that’s a positive, but in others, not so much.

Maybe its that I have more questions than answers right now, so for today’s review, here’s what’s in store:

We start with the pre-show, where besides Paul Heyman’s deliciously disdainful commentary, the best part was

Mizdow TV

Impressions: I had hoped for some more overt signs of dissension in the ranks but it seems WWE is going with the slow burn for these two.  Perhaps that is because Sandow is making The Miz look so damn good.  The patter between the two was fantastic - I went from being legitimately annoyed at Miz for interrupting Sandow’s brilliance to laughing out loud with glee at their mutual exchanges of bro-love.  Most people (not me!) just wanted Miz to go away and never return, but now I think they are actually entertained by him.  Such is the power of Sandow.

Moment:  Sandow going back and forth between trying to copy the Miz’s words and yet be touched by the sentiment.  We discussed this on Twitter recently, but it bears repeating - Is Sandow a top 10 talent in WWE on a pure entertainment scale?  Could he even be top 5?

As for the question and what is next, we’ll save that for the match later in the evening.

We move on now to an unadvertised match, such as it was…

Mark Henry vs. Bo “Washington” Dallas

Impressions:  Not sure what the point of all that was, especially when you add it to the results of the Rusev match later on.  My biggest impression is that Bo Dallas needs more exposure and mic time.

Moment:  Bo’s entire promo, both pre and post match.  He was topical, heelish and yet still hilarious, even after getting his butt kicked.  I still Bo-lieve!

Question:  Could we see Bo Dallas become a mid-card title contender?  I’ll get to this with the next match, but it feels like we’ve seen all of the possible combinations of matches with the current crop of IC and US contenders.  Sliding Bo Dallas into the IC title picture makes sense to me, though I don’t think it’s what’s next.

What’s Next:  For Henry, we’ll once again wait ‘til the Rusev match.  As for Dallas, I think he continues to languish in the undercard for a while.  I don’t think WWE sees him as I do, as a guy who could give Ziggler a run for his money.  He’ll continue to be fodder for the guys they like, but don’t have a place for at the moment.

Now, onto the show proper.   As predicted, we began with what I truly (and incorrectly) thought would be the match of the night…

Ziggler vs. Cesaro

Impressions:  You know what happened here?  I fell victim to one of a WWE fan’s classic blunders.  No, thankfully it did not involve a land war in Asia, but it was almost as bad.  I fell victim to my own hype.  I spent so much time lauding this match as a potential all-time classic that when it was just an excellent match, I wound up disappointed.

I had really expected WWE to give these two 25 solid minutes to tell their story, and so when they moved from chain wrestling to the pinfall roulette in the first 5 minutes, I thought it was rushed.  Had I been more realistic and expected 15 minutes of action, I might not have felt that way.

I’m glad Ziggler is getting the chance to be a legit IC juggernaut in getting the win in straight falls, which I am sure nobody expected.  Cesaro also looked beastly, thanks to...

Moment:  Of course it’s the superplex.  That’ll be a highlight of his for a long, long time.  Serious strength required there.  Still. . .

Question:  What happens to Cesaro now?  He’s failed at capturing both the US and IC titles, and while this feud with Ziggler could continue, Ziggler made his point pretty clear that he was the better man.  With Cesaro still hugging the “tweener” line, there’s no obvious place for him to go.  Considering he is, in my mind and the mind of many others, the best in-ring talent WWE has, that’s a travesty.

What’s Next:  The fact that there is no clear cut place for Cesaro or Ziggler for that matter makes me think this feuds continues regardless of last night’s outcome.  Perhaps this brings out a darker, more vicious side of Cesaro since he was embarrassed at HIAC?  I’d sure like to see that.

This just in, folks, hold on, I’ve got something in the headset here. . . What’s that? . . . Really? . . . No way around it? . . .  Damn. . . Well, sorry gang, but I’ve been told that I need to discuss the Bella match.  I was going to gloss over it, but rules are rules. . .

Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella

Impressions: Considering I was barely in the room and had the volume all the way down, my impressions are few and far between.  I’m sad this feud needs to continue and I weep for the real women’s wrestlers who are on the sidelines while these two hog the spotlight.  Seriously, why aren’t all the Cena haters blaming him for this?

Moment:  Nikki stealing the Yes! chants after winning.  For all I know, that’s been happening for weeks with this feud, but I got a kick out of it.  I’ll admit Nikki has the “evil woman” look down, though my ears fill with wax and my vision goes all fuzzy every time she grabs a microphone.

Question:  Can this be over now, please?  Of course it can’t, we’ve got at least another 30 days of this, but I think that was just about everyone’s sentiment last night.  Charlotte is languishing down in NXT right now, more so than any other talent considering she is so far above her competition, yet we’ll be getting 4 weeks of Brie getting coffee or being put in otherwise humiliating situations.

What’s Next:  I could honestly care less.

Dust Brothers vs. Uso’s

Impressions:  Another solid match by two solid teams.  My biggest impression is the one I always get watching the Dust’s - Goldust, at 45 years old, is in the best shape of his life.  He’s been wrestling for over 20 years, I’ve seen most of it, and he’s never looked better than he does right now.  The other impression is how much Cody Rhodes is obviously loving being Stardust.  A lot of people keep hoping Cody comes back, but honestly, when this team breaks up, I think it’s going to be Stardust vs. Dustin, not Cody vs. Goldust.

Moment:  When Michael Cole mentioned that the last team to hold the tag titles that weren’t in this match were the New Age Outlaws.  In 2014, only 3 teams have held the tag gold - These two teams, and a couple guys whose primes were over a decade ago.  Let that settle in for a minute.

Question:  Is the tag-team division dead?  I somewhat joked about this idea in my prediction column, but seriously, could we see the tag belts disappear?  The division is void of solid teams and the guys in NXT, as much as I love the Vaudevillains and the Lucha Dragons, aren’t going to save it.  I have to wonder if at some point, Vince and Co. will just decide to say “Screw it” and drop the belts for a year or two.  This is sad.

What’s Next:  Barring the formation of another team or, even more unlikely, moving forward on the Kofi / Big E duo, don’t these two teams have to keep fighting each other?  You can’t honestly tell me Slater-Gator or Los Matadores are contenders, can you?

Time for the most shocking moment of the night, when fans realized that WWE actually seems to know a bit about how to build a wrestling card.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

Impressions:  WWE Blunder 2 - Never bet against #KidsAndTroops.  Many of us were really convinced Orton was going to emerge victorious, even if it was shady, and get a shot at Lesnar, but no such luck.   Instead we get Cena vs. Lesnar III: Suplexes In Space!

I think this is WWE’s way of covering their bases.  You’ve got a champion with questionable health (though reports say it’s not as bad as we originally thought), all the most likely Rumble comeback guys (Bryan, Reigns, etc.) also have doubts, so Cena once again is playing the role of the fall-back option.  If Lesnar can’t continue wrestling, Cena wins the belt and we move along.  If DB or Roman aren’t ready, Cena is, sadly, the best candidate to main event with Brock at ‘Mania.

I hate how this makes sense.

Moment:  I loved that Orton is becoming a DDP-level master of doing the Ace Crusher out of nowhere.  One of the best things about Dallas Page was that every week, we seemed to see a new version of the Diamond Cutter.  That’s what’s happening now with the RKO.  I’ve been toying with the notion of a series of Finisher columns for months now, but really, isn’t the RKO the best finisher going?

Question:  When does Cena / Lesnar take place?  I think we have a pretty good idea of where both guys are heading (hint: it’s the same direction) so the only question is when Brock comes back.  I’m still thinking it’s the Rumble, though that’s a lot of Heyman / Cena promos to sit through, and even these two can’t keep it going for 2+ months.

What’s Next:  Rollins.  Cena and Seth have unfinished business after Night of Champions and I’m sure we’ll get more Authority strife tonight.  Rollins rubbing it in Orton’s face that Mr. MITB won while Mr. RKO lost.  One half of the  main event of Survivor Series right now looks like a Triple Threat between these guys.

Sheamus vs. Miz

Impressions:  Meh.  This was the one match I probably paid the least attention to that didn’t involve a Bella.  I kept an eye on it in case of any Miz-communications (Sorry, Shannon, but I’m sticking with my pun), but outside of that, it was a match.  That’s it.

Moment:  Since it took place during the match itself, I’ll go with Mizdow selling the Beats of the Bodhran with a slight victory over the Sheamus puppet show post-match.  I’m telling you, Top 5 in entertainment value.

Question: How long can Mizdow take it?  While, to be fair, he’s being featured more prominently now than at any time since he held the MITB briefcase, I have to think Sandow rebels sooner rather than later.  We didn’t see any huge problems between the two last night, but they were there.  Maybe Miz takes issue with Mizdow copying his employer’s beaten form rather than trying to save him from humiliation…

What’s Next:  Miz in the same boat as Cesaro, really.  He’s battled, and lost, both the IC and US champion.  He can’t go back to Ziggler already, just like Cesaro can’t go back to Sheamus.  This mid-card scene is a funny place right now.

As for Sheamus, I think he has a date with the Bulgarian Brute on the horizon.

Rusev vs. Big Show

Impressions:  Solid match with confusing finish.  I’m sick of the uber-Russian gimmick and of people having to pick up the defense of America.  Like a lot of feuds going on now, I’m ready to move on.

Moment:  Big Show putting Rusev in the Haas of Pain was my favorite wrestling move of the entire night, and yes I’m even counting the SuperDuperPlex.  I loved every second of that, and if Rusev had tapped, I’d have celebrated.  I know Big Show is huge and has a legit knockout punch, but the Haas of Pain should be his finisher from now on.  So awesome.

Question: What was the point of Mark Henry being out there?  He didn’t attack Big Show, didn’t get him disqualified, didn’t even really factor into the match at all.  I don’t get the booking there.  We seem to be heading down a road towards another “battle of the giants”, why not start it on Sunday?

What’s Next:  Rusev goes after Sheamus.  He’s beaten just about everybody else, so unless Luke Harper comes back tonight as The Patriot 2.0, Sheamus seems to be the next logical step.  I don’t know if we’ll ever see the Russian title, but I’d pencil in these two for Survivor Series.

AJ vs. Paige

Impressions:  AJ looks like Punk more and more every week.  These two, compared to our first Diva’s match, can actually wrestle.  Paige tapped much too quickly.

Moment:  Paige doing her own version of the Cesaro Swing, though AJ’s rotation kept getting interrupted by the ringside barrier.

Question: Aren’t these two destined to be together?  Both are being booked as being crazy with no friends.  Both obviously have the love / hate thing down to a science.  Do we need to wait for Charlotte to come up before these two join forces?

What’s Next:  With Paige turning on Alicia, we’ll see some Triple Threat matches, I expect.  Much like the tag division, it’s not like there are a lot of contenders out there for either talent to face.

Ambrose vs. Rollins

Impressions:  Someone should study what they’ve done to the Cells over the years to protect people from massive blood loss.  Seems like in the original years you could get busted open just by looking at Satan’s Structure, now it seems like you can actually be forced through the holes of the Cell and still come out non-crimson.

The dual fall felt forced, especially from Ambrose, who seemed to just jump off to be like his friend Seth.  That moment felt very much like they were just shooting the highlight reel moment for the next 10 years of Cell matches.

Moment:  The elbow-drop onto the balanced table, however, now that looked amazing.  I seriously believed someone had broken a limb in that, especially with the way both wrestlers were tangled up at the end.

And, of course, Bray’s return.  It was a thing of beauty, although his uranage suplex (Rock Bottom for those playing along at home) is a better looking move than Sister Abigail.

Question:  How does Bray justify his actions?  As much as I have wanted to see these two feud (crazy has never been so much fun), Wyatt is going to have to make a very compelling case.  He can’t just be another Authority lackey nor can it just be because “I was unstable long before you” - there has to be a legit reason.  The only way I can see it going is for Bray to take issue with the fact that the WWE fans have rallied around Ambrose to save the company, when it is Wyatt himself who is their savior.

Either that or they need to drop the savior act altogether and Bray just did it to get noticed - picked the most over guy in the yard and beat him down.  Unlikely, but with more possibilities.

What’s Next:  Chaos.  And I can’t wait.

One of the premiere baseball writers of my generation and fellow New Englander Buster Olney always mocks the fact that, every spring, he is asked to make his predictions for the playoff and World Series teams for the following October.   Being asked to project 6+ months ahead when there are so many variables that can change the fate of a franchise is ludicrous.  For proof, go back and look at how many “experts” accurately predicted a Giants / Royals World Series.  I imagine it’s zero, and that includes those writers who live in either San Francisco or Kansas City.

While we have similar problems in the sport of wrestling (Come on WWE and Kurt Angle, I still believe you can make my ‘Mania 31 main event dreams come true!), we have a much easier time when it comes to making PPV predictions.  To that end, it’s time to gaze 50 or so hours into the future and make my guesses as to the winners and losers for Sunday’s Hell in a Cell extravaganza.  Just for fun, I’ll also add who I believe SHOULD win (which often is different from who I predict WILL), and throw in my assumed match order for good measure.

In fact, let’s go even further, and start with the…


Damien Mizdow, who is so insanely charismatic that he’s actually making The Miz popular, hosts the first of what I hope will be many episodes of Miz(dow) TV.  Fresh off his upset victory over Sheamus on RAW this past week (and the beginning seeds of some dissent amidst Team Hollywood), I expect Mizdow to take issue with the fact that he’s not the one getting the title match.  For each of the last 3 weeks, Miz (or Mizdow) has beaten Sheamus, all thanks to Damien.  

What SHOULD happen:  Mizdow and Miz get into a bit of a spat which is only exacerbated when Sheamus agrees with Damien, saying he is more of a contender for “Fella’s” title than Miz himself is.  The match becomes a Triple Threat in which Mizdow wins the US title.  He and Miz feud for the remainder of 2014 while Sheamus moves back into the main event picture.

What WILL happen:  Miz is able to calm Damien down enough to avoid any major issues, but Damien is still resentful.  Resentful enough for it to matter later in the night.

Alright, that brings us to the show proper and to my predicted opening match, which if you’ve been keeping up with the blog this week, is also my projected show-stealer.  

Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Cesaro for the IC title - 2 out of 3 falls

Honestly, folks, the more I think about it, the more I think we might all be witness to a match of the YEAR candidate Sunday.  While there are 8 matches on the docket for HIAC, at least half of them could easily be 10 minutes or less, giving more possible time for Dolph and Antonio to work their magic.  

What SHOULD happen:  Cesaro and Ziggler are given 25-30 minutes to re-introduce themselves to the WWE fans.  Cesaro takes the first fall with relative ease, Ziggler battles back to tie it up at one fall a piece, and the ultimate decision takes an additional 10-12 minutes before we get our winner.  As to who SHOULD win?  Truthfully, I can make a case for either man.  Cesaro is seemingly right on the cusp of reaching that next level of WWE stardom, though he’s been flirting with said cusp for the better part of 2014.  An IC win and lengthy reign would set him up to be one of “the guys” going forward in the next 5-10 years.  However. . .

What WILL happen:  Ziggler has been doing an exemplary job of making the IC title relevant, specifically in the absence of the World Heavyweight Championship.  By defeating Cesaro, who all can agree is a worthy challenger, Dolph proves himself a fighting and ferocious champion who will valiantly carry the WWE midcard torch well into 2015.  Ziggler wins, but its ridiculously close, and holy hell will the rest of the roster have their work cut out for them.

Fans are going to need to calm down and perhaps get some oxygen after that breath-taking opener, and while I am sorely tempted to put a Divas match here, I think match #2 is

Rusev vs. Big Show

Of all the matches for Sunday’s card, this strikes me as the biggest “Who Cares?”, hence why it comes here.  Big Show pulled down a flag, Rusev kicked a guy pretending to be a soldier, there’s bad blood.  We get it.

What SHOULD happen:  Whatever it is, it should happen fast.  There is too much potential in the other matches on this card for these guys to get any more than 6, 7 minutes tops.  Rusev dominates the opening minutes, Big Show comes back because he is a giant of a man, he is poised for victory and then Mark Henry ruins it, becoming the biggest patriotic wrestling turncoat since Sgt. Slaughter joined Col. Mustafa and General Adnan.

Yeah, I know, totally unlikely.

What WILL happen:  Rusev continues his rush of dominance, using Big Show as the final springboard to the main event scene.  I still think Mark Henry is involved, but its more because of anti-Show sentiments than anything else.

Dust Brothers (c) vs. Usos for the Tag Team Titles

Not a whole lot needs to be said by way of introduction.  They are the only teams going, pretty much, so they have to keep fighting.

What SHOULD happen: The end of the feud, and if necessary for the rest of 2014, the end of the tag team title scene.  Seriously, can you remember a time when things were this bad?  If the Usos are the #1 contenders, who comes after them?  Doesn’t it have to be either the matadors or Slater-Gator?  The Wyatt’s are splitting, The Ascension is still ruining IWC dreams by beating up KenTami every week, there is seriously nobody else going.  How has WWE not thrown Fandango and Adam Rose together yet, just to get some fresh bodies in these matches?

If WWE isn’t going to make the tag team title scene anything of importance, they are better off dropping the belts altogether.  You’ve already removed the WHC, why stop there?  Let the Usos win Sunday and then take time off, let Dustin and Cody start the feud everybody has been clamoring for, and bring back the division when you actually have some people to make it worthwhile.

I am Mr. #PromotingPositivity, but there’s no way you can do that when it comes to tag teams these days.  Quite sad.

What WILL happen:  Nothing of interest, outside of another quality match between four talented individuals who deserve a whole lot better.  No matter who wins, they’ll keep feuding because there isn’t anybody else, unless Rose and The Bunny shock the world Monday Night on RAW.

AJ (c) vs. Paige for the Divas title

I’m sure many think this will be the palate cleanser between Cell matches, but honestly these two are too good for that spot.  Let the Bella’s be the bathroom break.  

What SHOULD happen:  Vince McMahon needs to get his head on straight and get rid of this stupid rule about Total Divas cast members being champions, that’s what!

Oh, I meant the match, didn’t I?  Full disclosure - I don’t watch women’s wrestling on WWE (NXT is so far above them there’s no point really) so I don’t even know what the storyline is.  They’re friends who hate each other?  They’re secretly in love?  Paige is having an affair with AJ’s husband, whomever that may be?   No matter, this is one situation where what SHOULD happen and the actual results are one and the same. . .

What SHOULD / WILL happen:  AJ retains the title and continues to be the placeholder until Charlotte comes up and takes the belt, becoming the longest reigning Divas champion since Fabulous Moolah.  (Note: This is now the time where, as always, I proclaim Charlotte to be the greatest women’s wrestler in history.  OK, that’s over now. . . Go about your business.

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins inside the Cell

No, WWE is not going to do two cell matches back to back.  No, WWE is not going to do Cell match, divas match, Cell match.  There’s going to be at least a 30-45 minute break between appearances of Satan’s Structure, possibly more if the promo packages are lengthy, which they usually are.  Most fans will gnash their teeth and rend their clothes at the idea of Dean and Seth relegated to the 9:30 slot, but if halftime for MNF is the prime time for RAW, then we can deal with this, right?

Of course not.  Bring on the hate!

What SHOULD happen:  Ambrose finally gets his revenge on his former Shield-brother and this feud takes a break for a while.  Rollins moves on to Cena and Ambrose gets a new feud.  Hey, this would be the perfect place for Bray Wyatt to make his return, attacking Dean after the match for being the WWE’s next savior and starting a feud that could last all the way to ‘Mania.

What WILL happen:  Some dives off the walls of the cage, maybe even a little (accidental) blood, and Seth Rollins standing victorious at night’s end.  Let’s be realistic - this is the best feud WWE has going and there’s no way they’re going to let it end Sunday.  Whether Kane gets involved or we see some sort of other chicanery, Rollins and Ambrose are fighting ‘til the Rumble. . . At least.

Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella.  Loser does winner’s bidding for 30 days, inspiring teenage male fantasies everywhere.

I don’t even have the energy to write an intro.  Let me know how this match is, will ya?  

What SHOULD happen:  Brie wins, the feud is over and we let some actually talented women’s wrestlers get the spotlight. . .

Man, I am jaded this evening!  

What WILL happen:  Nikki wins, humiliating Brie for the next few weeks until she can take no more, and this feud sadly continues.

Yep. . . Totally jaded.  Come on, Teach, you can do this. . .  Promote positivity, promote positivity, promote positivity…

Sheamus (c) vs. Miz for the US Championship

We’ve already covered some of what SHOULD happen in the pre-show, so I’ll resist the urge for more Man-Dow crushing and cover another ideal scenario…

What SHOULD happen:  Sheamus retains the title due to some sort of miz-communication (I’ll be here all week, folks...Try the veal!), and on Monday night we see the beginning of the Sheamus / Rusev feud for the US title.  Many far more intelligent people than I have been arguing in favor or this for weeks, and I won’t deny that it makes a ton of sense, though you’d ideally want the US champ to be. . . You know. . . American. . . in order for the feud to REALLY take off.

What WILL happen:  The first part of what SHOULD happen - Miz and Damien start their problems and Sheamus keeps the belt.  Really, this seems to just be a holding pattern for the Fella until WWE decides what they want to do with him.  He really needs a heel turn - in fact, he could fill both the roles of Orton and Kane at the same time, why isn’t he part of The Authority?

John Cena vs. Randy Orton for #1 Contendership to the WHC

If you haven’t heard the New Age Insiders’ rant on the total lack of logic regarding the stipulation for this match, you absolutely need to catch this past week’s NAIpod.  In fact, you all should be listening to it right now, just for the insanity and the Dusty impression.

Basically WWE has hired skywriters and candy-grams to force us to take these two seriously as the main event, when Ambrose and Rollins are the bigger story.  Hell, you could make a case that most of the matches on this card are bigger, storyline wise, than this match.  Still, Vince says its the main event, so the main event it is.

What SHOULD happen:  Orton wins.  Cleanly.  Very few people over the age of 9 want to see Cena vs. Lesnar again, and Orton needs a boost to remind everyone that yes, he is on the short list of “best wrestlers of the 2000’s”.  Orton should beat Cena in the Cell and then give Lesnar a run for his money at the Rumble, or whatever PPV in which our champion makes his next appearance.  Cena can feud with Rollins or Ambrose or Cesaro or Wyatt - you know, what he was supposed to be doing before CM Punk and Daniel Bryan ruined it for everybody?

What WILL happen:  Some sort of twisted ending, possibly involving Ambrose and Rollins.   Orton still might win, but with three months until the Rumble, this storyline is obviously not over.  And, of course, we can never underestimate the power of #KidsAndTroops.

Overall, I think we’re in for an excellent PPV, though Cena and Orton in the main event means it’s VERY likely we’ll end the show on some sort of letdown.  The IC title match and the only match that should be in a Cell will be good enough for fans (for the most part) to be happy, and we’ll hopefully see some direction for the latter sixth of 2014.

If you were to take 100 average WWE fans and ask them about Hell in a Cell, the vast majority of them would immediately talk about Foley’s brush with death during his seminal Cell match with Undertaker.  Some might also mention the bloodbath that was Michaels vs. HHH, back in the day.

Last year’s CM Punk vs. Ryback match is likely not going to be on the top of many wrestling fan’s minds when HIAC is brought up, and after watching it last night, I can totally understand why.  It was a boring, boring match.  No blood.  Very few high spots, save for Punk’s beatdown of Heyman after defeating Ryback and some quite creative suplexes Mr. “Feed Me More” gave to the future GFW World Champion...

See what I did there?  Got your attention, didn’t I?
So what was wrong with that match?  The story was there, both competitors certainly did their part to try to make it as exciting as possible.  Yet, something still was missing.

I couldn’t figure it out, then all of  a sudden, it hit me.

Hell in a Cell matches don’t really work in the PG era.

Now, I have never claimed to be an expert in recent WWE.  In fact, I’ve gone out of my way to make sure people know that up until July or so, I wasn’t really watching very regularly at all.  So perhaps there are some Cell matches of the last few years that were absolute slobberknockers, in which case I’ll gladly admit to being wrong.

But it seems to be that Hell in a Cell is a match that NEEDS to be bloody.  There needs to be gratuitous violence in these types of bouts, otherwise what’s the giant metal thing for?  When I watched that Cell match last night, I knew nobody was going to go flying off of the top (especially Heyman, who practically super glued himself to that support structure).  I knew there wouldn’t be a ‘scarlet mask’, unless it was a complete accident.  That’s not what the PG era is all about.

Ever since Night of Champions (and actually, well before that), people have been debating on Twitter what is going to happen with this month’s Hell in a Cell event.  Would it be Lesnar vs. Cena III?  Ambrose / Rollins?   Most people, in fact, assumed both matches would take place inside the Cell, and couldn’t believe that I disagreed with that idea.   Why wouldn’t I want to see 2 Cell matches?

Because this is the PG era, that’s why.  There are only so many ways to use a giant metal cage if you’re not able to bleed or be overly violent.  Nobody is going to rub their opponent’s face into the cell, there won’t be any chairshots to the head and I doubt anyone is even going to ascend the structure, unless they’re posing at the end of the night.

In an age where WWE feels they need to apologize for Big Show pulling down a Russian flag (onto the mat, mind you, technically not the ground.  Can the American flag in my classroom not touch a desk?), you can bet your bottom dollar there won’t be anything over the top at Hell in a Cell, so why do I want to see 2 of those matches?

Too much of anything is no good, as anyone who has been in an elementary school can tell you.  Survivor Series changed because people were bored of too many elimination tag matches, and King of the Ring disappeared, I think, because people couldn’t attend long enough to appreciate a singles’ tournament.  WWE fans demand variety in their matches, and seeing 2 Cell matches, no matter who the wrestlers involved are, wasn’t going to work when nobody can bleed or do the creatively violent things necessary to make a Cell match truly exciting.

Honestly, if WWE insists on staying PG (which I’m not sure they will, at least not for much longer), they should get rid of HIAC altogether.  PPV’s built around a gimmick are always strained, since you’re building a feud (or two) around what PPV is next instead of vice versa.

For this month, we need to see a Fatal 4 Way in the Cell.  Cena, Ambrose, Rollins and Orton.  There’s enough interwoven stories there to justify it and having multiple men inside the structure for a single match will, in my mind, make it easier to pop the crowd.

Your thoughts? Can Cell matches work PG?  What do you want to see at HIAC?

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