I’m not a patient man.
Perhaps its only child syndrome or perhaps its just impulse control issues, but patience and I have never really gotten along. This, like most things, can be a blessing and a curse. For one thing, it gave Mrs. Matthews and myself a very entertaining engagement story. (My fervent paranoia comes into play there as well, but that’s another column.)
In terms of writing, my lack of patience means that when I get an idea that I think is good, I can’t help but run with it. To that end, I’d like to welcome you to the first installment of Finisher Friday. If you have read my initial column, where I gave new finishers to the former Shield brothers, you know what’s in store. If you didn’t read it, how dare you! Go read it, so you’re all caught up.
I had such a good time finally putting these ideas to paper, and it seemed to generate a decent amount of interest, so now we have yet another weekly feature, at least until Hall of Friday season kicks in again.
This afternoon I took to the Twitter and asked for ideas of whom fans would like to see get a new set of finishers. Remember, they each have two in my world. Based on votes and conversation, today we’re going to focus on two NAIborhood favorites. . . And, for some reason, Big Show.
Let’s get that one over with right now.
As we were discussing Show on Twitter, somebody mentioned that Paul Wight had been advised by WWE lawyers to stop using the chokeslam as his finisher. In my very quick research, the only thing I saw regarding this issue is that Big Show has been told not to pretend to chokeslam fans. Nothing that I found said anything about banning the Chokeslam altogether.
If there’s a reason why Big Show isn’t chokeslamming people anymore, I think it has more to do with his age and overall health than anything else. At 43 years old and nowhere near the best shape of his life, its possible that Paul Wight just can’t pick up guys like he used to.
Finisher 1 - KO Punch
Look, this is not my favorite move in the world, but with wrestlers getting smaller and smaller these days, this makes a lot of sense. A punch from this guy, especially if he makes it look legitimate, SHOULD knock out just about everyone on the WWE roster.
Finisher 2 - Hyper Drive / Earthquake Splash
Up until about 5 seconds before I wrote this section, I was going to give Big Show the Haas of Pain as his second finisher. I love this move and I give Show all the props in the world for adding it to his arsenal.
The fans on Twitter, though, made very valid points. Again, it comes down to size. Big Show need only sit on a guy to be able to hold his shoulders down, so why not borrow Mojo Rawley’s finisher? It’s not like he’s using it right now, plus it makes no sense for a guy Rawley’s size to be using.
Big Show runs the ropes, hops (he can’t jump) in the air and sits on his opponent. It could even be a submission move if he felt like it.
Everyone’s favorite Swiss Superman seems happily ensconced in the tag team division, but that doesn’t mean his finishers couldn’t use a tweaking. The Neutralizer, while fun, seems almost too easy for someone as talented as Cesaro. We can certainly do better, no?
Finisher 1 - Pop Up Uppercut
Truthfully, Cesaro should and I dare say could be the Man of 1,000 Finishers. Everything he does is so crisp and devastating-looking, you could tell me he’d start using the side headlock as a finisher and I’d be watching intently for it.
Still, the pop-up European uppercut is one of those moves that really should signify the end of a match. He’s strong enough to send most talents wayyyyyy up high in the air and then BOOM! They look like they were in a car crash. Just awesome.
Finisher 2 - Swing into (Insert Leg Submission here)
You have to. . . HAVE to. . . take advantage of the popularity of the Cesaro Swing. What better way than to have it be the beginning of his new finishing move? Cesaro spins his ‘ponent round and round then takes his pick of any number of lower body submissions to force the tap out.
My personal preference, being the hardcore Dean Malenko fan that I am, would be the Texas (Swiss) Cloverleaf, but if this partnership with Kidd is going to keep going, I’m all for Cesaro starting to use the Sharpshooter as a sign of Canadian solidarity.
If you paid attention on Twitter today, I apologize for the fact that you know what’s coming. Don’t blame me, blame the genius professor known as MagnumNAI!
With the exception of the pose (kiss included) before the move, Sister Abigail, in my opinion, stinks as a finisher. Seriously, I’m getting so sick of the myriad wrestlers using some form of double stomp / double knee (Backstabber) / Flatliner type maneuvers.
Aside: I watched Lucha Underground this week and while I didn’t count the number of Backstabber / Lungblower variations, I can safely estimate it was somewhere around 1209. ie, WAY TOO MANY!
Anyway, Bray needs a change, and the secret to BOTH his finisher lies, like the hold word, in his hands
Finisher 1 - Asian / Oriental Spike
See that thumb there, the one all wrapped in a leather guard? Bray’s going to take that thumb, stick it sideways, and shove it straight into the throat of this opponent with a great amount of force.
Imagine one of Kane’s throat thrusts, only with just the thumb. The leather guard is perfect, as it adds a level of mystery. Is Bray hiding something in there, something that would make the spike more effective? Wyatt, master of theatrics anyway, would signal the move by holding his hand out to the side, showing off that dastardly thumb. It’s perfect.
Finisher 2 - Mandible Claw
We haven’t seen, to the best of my knowledge, anyone use the Mandible Claw since Mick Foley, pretty much the only famous user of the hold, but with a little change to Bray’s guard, it’s another perfect fit. If we add more leather over the middle and ring fingers, Bray now has two options from virtually the same position.
I’ve seen ideas for Bray to use the CrossFace Chicken Wing, but I already gave that to Ambrose. He could also use the Million Dollar Dream or even the Tongan Death Grip, but I have plans for those as well. The Mandible Claw would be a fantastic second finisher for Wyatt. Just imagine him applying it with that great laughing face of his, kissing his victim’s forehead as he slips into unconsciousness.
I’ve been saying for a while now that Bray needs to go darker in order to be truly successful, and these two moves are some ways to do it.
What do YOU think? Would these moves work? Are there better ones? Who should we look at on our next Finisher Friday? Be Heard.