I feel like I’m dreaming. . . Or, at least, I hope its a dream . . . There are moments where it feels more like a nightmare. . . So many PPV’s. . . Each time I turn around, there’s another one. . .When will it end? WHEN WILL IT END????
In other words, friends, it’s time for some Elimination Chamber Reactions! Today we’ll be looking at winners and losers from last night. We’re going to hurry though, because as soon as I finish this column, I need to start the predictions one for Money in the Bank. That’s how quickly these things are happening. . .
Winner – Zack Ryder
– Just for getting on a PPV pre-show, Mr. Ryder. I didn’t see this match – didn’t even know it was happening – but it didn’t end in 2 minutes or less, so that’s a positive sign. Anyone else think Z-Ry would benefit from some NXT time, just like Tyson Kidd did last year?
Loser – Stardust
– He won the match on the pre-show, but what is happening with this character? Are we supposed to all just hope the rumored match with Stephen “Arrow” Amell is going to make everything OK? Let’s get this trending, folks – #SaveCody
Winner – Booker T, Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips
Basically any commentator other than Jerry Lawler. I’m beginning to wonder if he’s not doing well and nobody is talking about it. Like Vince is, ya know?
Winner – The Ascension
They didn’t last too long, but Konnor and Viktor actually looked like a tag team WWE could somewhat get behind.
Loser – Kalisto
Maybe I’m focusing on minutia here, but what in the world was happening with Kalisto on that pod? Could he not get his footing? He obviously was not supposed to just hang out there for close to 10 minutes. There was going to be a double Dragon dive spot, but it couldn’t happen. Thank goodness Cesaro managed to go get him down!
I won’t fault him for the dive from the top of the Chamber. He gets all the credit in the world for climbing up there like a spider monkey, and truth be told, I think the guys below were supposed to catch him. Regardless, I doubt last night did anything to sell Vince / Dunn on Lucha’s ability to lead a tag division.
Winners – Cesaro and Titus O’Neil
Forget the tag division, last night sold me on Cesaro and Titus contending for major WWE singles titles in the near future. Both stole the show during that tag match, and though we’ve come to expect that from the Swiss Superman, I don’t think any of us were really counting on Titus to be so. . . Beastly.
In the era we’re in, where the “big man” is pretty much gone, O’Neil could dominate far more than someone “only” 6’4” and 270 pounds should. I’m on the Titus Train.
Loser – Wyatt Family
No Harper. No Rowan. No Bray. No sense.
Loser – Women’s wrestling
For some reason, I decided to watch the ending minutes of the Diva’s Triple Threat. Yes, I was hoping that my Pie in the Sky prediction of the Four Horsewomen coming down to attack would come true. That’s really the only reason. Serves me right for dreaming big.
I can’t speak for the first 2-3 minutes of that match, but the end was a disaster. Naomi looked like she had no idea how to keep other people safe, and even Paige was rough.
Maybe its for the best that the NXT Divas stay down there. If I had any shred of confidence in how they’d perform in WWE, its gone now.
Winner – Kevin Owens
Owens won the day, the week, the month and perhaps the entire year of 2015 with his performance last night. I’ve seen just about everything he’s done in NXT, and it felt like he was doing all of those matches at about 50% compared to Sunday. That was a sight to see.
I could keep gushing, but I imagine that’ll be the focal point of a lot of #NAIrticles this week. Suffice to say, I’m all in.
Loser – Everyone who had to follow Owens / Cena
Much like Taker / HBK from Wrestlemania 25, I imagine everyone in the back just wanted to slap those two for setting the bar so unbelievably high.
Winner – John Cena
I usually don’t find myself vehemently disagreeing with the NAIpod boys, Jason Moltov in particular, but I found myself whispering quite aggressively (so as not to wake a sleeping Mrs. Matthews) listening to the podcast last night. I think the whole “Cena rolling out” thing has been blown FAR too much out of proportion. Had that been anyone other than Cena, nobody would have even noticed what he did.
This was Owens’ moment to shine, so Cena gave it to him. Let’s stop nitpicking on this guy, can we? He’s doing exactly what we’ve been begging him to do for years. #GiveCenaAChance
Winners and Losers – Bo Dallas and Neville
I’ll admit it – I needed a break after Owens’ victory. I can’t remember a time where I literally could not continue watching because I needed to bask in the moments that had transpired. After totally fanboying out to Mrs. Matthews (who, as usual, smiled and nodded, thinking I was completely insane), I came back to the tail end of IC entrances, assuming that was all I missed. It wasn’t until halfway through that I realized Bo Dallas and Neville had their match in between.
Why. . .WHY. . .DEAR GOD WHY would you put another singles match on after Owens vs. Cena? A Chamber match would at least be something different – Just the setup alone would give fans time to finish their tweets and collect the brains that had exploded out their ears!
Neville and Dallas, and I love them both, didn’t have a chance, and though the match was good – actually, far better than I expected – It was the most after of afterthoughts.
Luckily, we have WWE booking strategy to save us, since I imagine these two will have a rematch tonight on RAW, where hopefully we’ll be able to appreciate them both for their skills.
Loser – The Intercontinental Title
Speaking of afterthoughts, if there was any question to the order of importance for the mid-card belts, it was answered last night. The US title is WAYYYYY above the IC belt in terms of the pecking order.
My word, that match was brutal, and by brutal, I refer to the “lacking any attempt to disguise unpleasantness” definition. I missed the opening minutes, but it sounded like I could have missed the whole thing and saved myself some trouble. Yikes.
Winner – Sheamus
The only bright spot of that match was Sheamus’ rather clever locking himself in his own pod. It’s a shame the cameras and announcers didn’t help sell it as well as it should have been done.
”Winner” – Ryback
Congratulations Ryback, for proving that if WWE fans like a chant enough – Just the chant – It’ll give someone a mid-card title.
Chanting has gotten completely out of hand in pro wrestling. Perhaps a topic for a future column, though.
Loser – Elimination Chamber matches
Was the IC title the last Chamber match in history? Doubtful. Should it be? Probably.
Winners – Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose
After the IC Chamber match, all the positive vibes that came from Owens and Cena had been vaporized. People were back to hating on the Crowd, hating on the Chamber, hating on the Company. Dean and Seth, while they couldn’t top the sheer awesomeness of KO, came pretty close, and by the end of the match, the audience was in the palm of their hands.
Fans may have been unpleasantly surprised by the finish, but I thought it was fun and functional. Here’s what we learned.
1. Dean Ambrose can be a believable World Champion. The crowd was ready to embrace him and he owned his moment of victory as we would all hope any first time champion should.
2. Seth Rollins makes funny faces, one of which only causes inappropriate comments, so I won’t post it here.
3. We’re going to see a Roman Reigns heel turn one of these days, and when it happens, the fans will lose their minds.
Really, last night was a tease for a lot of what’s to come in wrestling, and WWE, as usual, did an excellent job of getting us excited for it.
Which is good, because the next WWE Network PPV starts in like, 47 minutes. Better get ready!
What do YOU think? Favorite moments from the Chamber? Where do we go from here? Be Heard.